by dnb on April 14, 2009
I have slowly come to realize that I have created the God I believe in. I suppose to some degree we all do. All that is lacking in my life is found in my God. I have essentially projected my desires into my spiritual beliefs. I think of the God of the Old Testament, testing and judging His people; This is not the God I would ever imagine or believe in. My God is Love only; Love without explanation or words. Big Love. I think we imagine our God to be what we need Him/Her/It to be. And my God is no exception.
I spoke with a friend the other day about love. He said that he believed there was a love out there for him that would be all consuming, a love worthy of all the pain and struggle. I don’t know when I stopped believing in this kind of love. I guess I really didn’t stop believing in it, but I believed it only possible with God. God is The Beloved, my Beloved. Which leaves me wondering why I feel so lonely sometimes. I never feel alone, but I do feel lonely. Clearly I have no answers, just gaping holes in my theories. I wonder greatly about the Gods of others. What people believe about God, who or what is God to them? Why did they come to believe in the God they do, and do they ever question their imaginings of God? Questions I will be asking many…