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The Way?

It is difficult to follow a Rule of Life.  Often I reread my rule and remind myself what it is I am supposed to doing.  I never seem complete in my observance.  But I try.  Everyday I start over.  Everyday.  As if one day I will find the easy rhythm I am looking for and fall into some ancient pattern, a path I cannot stumble out of.  It never happens, but each day I recommit…somedays with more energy and faith than other days.  But nonetheless, I stay.  I do not believe that my chosen path is the only the only path.  Lately I have come to believe that there is no path at all, that the journey begins and ends not with a step but with a breathe.  

I cannot believe that our effort will ensure our finding what we seek any more than I believe that God loves us only as much as we have earned.  The difficulty lies not in the practice, but in the mind.  We create the ordeal to earn the reward.  My practice has become my distraction, my addiction, my justification, my trophy.  Each day I shed my expectation and ego and pray that I can be open to what simply is already within my reach. 
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