from the Gospel of Thomas
“If you give birth to what is within you
the voices you redeem will redeem you
If you fail to find and give birth to them,
they become part of what is destroying you.”
In Aramaic, the third line of the Lord’s Prayer affirms “teete malkutakh,” usually translated as “thy kingdom come.” A different, and perhaps more beautiful, translation would be “Let your vision power, the “I Can” of the cosmos, really come!”
There was a time when I was able to listen to God. I believe we are all born with this sense. Somehow, over many years, I lost my gift. Perhaps the truth is, I slowly gave it away piece by piece. In moments big and small, I handed over my compass to those around me. I allowed others power over my direction. Often I did this as a measure of my love for them, but just as often as a reaction to my own fear. I began to depend on the voices of others, I let them fill my head, until I could hear nothing else. I let them persuade me, then lure me, away from the calm knowing place I had come from. I had not only lost my way, I lost the ability to even know that I had.
I am still lost, I have no map or even a destination. My trust is in the voice I have begun to hear again. Sometimes a whisper, sometimes a scream, it is clear and like no other. This time, I will not ignore it. When I was young, I was full of trust and belief in the God in me and all around. I cradle that memory like a beloved child and remember that I too am a beloved child.