sweet slumber

Art is hard. At least right now it is. Not that I don’t love what I am doing. I just haven’t haven’t mastered the “artist’s mind” yet.  I hope that one day I am able to be an artist, think like an artist, live like an artist…and sleep.

My body is exhausted and while art feeds my soul…it doesn’t satisfy my physical needs of food, water, and sleep. I am in beginner mind once again.  This time it’s a very loud place that never quiets. It’s what I imagine NYC to be like.  Only I am not a city and I need to sleep.

I have used the word sleep three times now…four. I should be counting sheep.

sleep

At seven am I am already daydreaming
about a nap in the afternoon
or how I might go to bed early this evening


at one am
my mind will not stop ruminating
about the things I didn’t get
done all day..
when I was daydreaming
about a nap…

mmmh?

“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

Douglas Adams

A Woman Mystic

All things

are too small

to hold me,

I am so vast

In the Infinite

I reach

for the Uncreated

I have touched it,

it undoes me

wider than wide

Everything else

is too narrow

You know this well,

You who are also there.

Hadewijch of Antwerp

where are the women saviors of the world?

adam, moses, abraham, jesus….twelve disciples..

I wouldn’t even call myself a feminist
but really,
seriously?
where are the women?
Buddha, Mohammed, Krishna..
for Christ’s sake
where are the women?
what I know is this.
Love is not misogynistic

mankind is

Time

When my children were young, I made a promise to find time everyday with them that was special.  I did this mostly by reading to them.  We read a lot…we didn’t have a TV so there was time. There is enough time to do all the things I want. I need only let go of the those things that I allow to steal my time away..

deja vu

i have been here before
many times
funny how that is
and how not funny that is
if nothing else though
i am here with new eyes
or rather old eyes
eyes with history and perspective
eyes with memory
i have wished it to be different
but it is not

Bandas

Worked on the bandas today in yoga.  For the first time I felt like I “got it.” I felt a sense of core strength that had was root not in the musculature, but in an energetic core which in turn effected not only my physical body, but my mental and energetic one.  Working with Uddhyana banda, I was able to access an area in my back that I have never been able to..”my stuck spot.”  This is only the beginning for me..so much more to learn.

ujjayi

an afternoon of breathework has eased my body and soul…

a prayer for the people of Haiti

A devastating earthquake hit Haiti yesterday.  The capital city Port Au Prince is destroyed, estimates say half a million people are dead.  In a country with little infrastructure there is really no way of knowing the extent of the damage, the number of lost lives, the loss of life to come. The pictures and stories coming out are hard to take in.  How a country as poor as Haiti is going to recover, how people are going to make it day to day are questions that have no answers.  I think about to Hurricane Katrina and the people effected by it.  In a country with all the resources possible, there are still place that have not recovered and never will.  Last year my daughter went on a mission trip to Haiti.  Never had she seen such poverty, never had she fallen in such love with a place and a people.

There is much I do not understand.  I send thoughts of compassion, love and healing.