My city at night
Archive for
Apr 25
Art School
Nothing like art school to test one’s self esteem. This morning I’m sitting in my figure drawing class waiting for class to start.. Feeling a little lucky, very a little concerned.
I’ve decided to walk away from my paying job to focus on ‘being an artist.’ At some point I knew this would have to happen; but the truth is my fear of failing has kept me from taking the leap.
Weird circumstances over the weekend had me question my lack of effort at times, the choices I make, and what it is I want. What I want is to be immersed in the creative process.
What I do now is leap.
Nine Miles
Between a 3 mile run with Luka and young Chris, and a six mile stroll with both the Chris’..I logged a respectable nine miles today. The run wasn’t so easy; I’ve gotten out of shape. I enjoyed it though. Today was a lovely day…sunny and warmer; I’ve turned the heat off and the house is 70 inside!! Maybe spring is on its way. I’m looking forward to warm runs and sunlight.
celiacs
last night I fell asleep at 6:30
Chris woke me at 1 am
so I could go to bed
I have been sick
again..
I think it is the lack of sunlight
and my inability to stay away from wheat
every day I count my “clean days”
days I haven’t been bad
and eaten GLUTEN
it sucks
but there are other things
that suck more I suppose.
Once a few years ago, well maybe more than a few
years
I was really good..
i obeyed all the food rules
and felt AMAZING
and then i slipped
and have never been as diligent
until now…
day…..three
for the last time
blue sky
for the first time in too long
I see the blue
filling space where only grey
has been
i have been painting blue for months
my memory and heart
urging oil from tiny tubes
into impossible hues
i have past waiting
my expectation left long ago
so this blue
this day
is a sweet presence
shaded by nothing
rain rain rain rain rain
I think the sun is a flower, That blooms for just one hour.
Ray Bradbury…
via Christopher Blair
deidre noreen 