In one compartment of my life I work with adolescents suffering from addiction. It’s not a career path I chose outright, rather it was just one I found myself on. The work can be frustrating; it beats me up, breaks my heart, and wears me out. Recovery is a long and painful process; why and when it works is a mystery to me. The supply of addicts seems endless. Most of those I work with come to treatment less than willing. More often than not they have a choice between jail or rehab. Some see treatment as the easier way out…a way of killing time until just enough expectation is met that some amount of freedom is earned. Few enter treatment with a goal of sobriety. There are some; but they are rare. I do not judge the others. I really don’t . I have listened to their stories; if I had walked in the shoes of some my charges I certainly wouldn’t have fared any better.
This past month I’ve decided I need to devote serious effort to creating my own healthier lifestyle. As much as I feel young in spirit, my body reminds me over and over again that it has limits. The last six months for me have been physically the most painful and frustrating in my life. A shoulder injury late last year has yet to heal and I have come to conclusion that “it will take time” literally means “it will take time.” Time of an undetermined length.I have written about self care before and I’ve been attempting to settle into a routine. But new habits are hard to create. Work has reminded me of that. Part of recovery is letting go of old behaviors and creating new ways of being. I too have been killing time, believing that if I just wait long enough, my shoulder will go back to its normal healthy self. I have learned that it won’t.
Just like those I work with, I need to create healthy ways of living if I am to get to heal. My personal list of commitments to myself:
1.yoga ..every day
2. meditation, at least 3 times a week
3. more water (this is so hard for me..)
4. more laughter
5. exercise with my husband
6. daily (D.A.I.L.Y.!!) regiment of vitamins and minerals
8. 8 HOURS OF SLEEP EACH NIGHT
9. limit non work computer time to less than 1 hour a day total.
10. eat well
11. remind daily myself that I am healing
12. CREATE BEAUTY
i will add to this if I need to..my body wants to heal, I will get better, I will heal.