mean people are mean

Every week I have to spend time with a difficult person. She’s mean. Plain and simple. Her need to be right is oppressive. Every week I give it a fresh shot. Every.SIngle.Week. I’ve decided it is not worth the anxiety and stress anymore. I’ve tried to be compassionate, believing that for someone to act with such disregard for the feelings of others, something tragic must have happened to her. Her defenses are honed, acting as weapons now.

I am at a loss. I have always believed that kindness begets kindness. I also believe that I should act with with genuine integrity and not let the actions of others set the course for my behaviors. And yet, I cannot find it in myself to be compassionate any more. I’m in self preservation mode and feel that I need to be kind to myself…first.  Sacrificing myself to placate this woman is self destructive.  I am not willing to do this anymore.

I have never been good with conflict. In fact, I would say I am an avoider of conflict. I am the Queen of Avoidance. But if I am to take care of myself, I may have to fight my own battle, just once.

I’ll let you know how it goes…may I not let myself down.