Radical Acceptance

             When we get lost in our stories,we lose touch with our actual experience

Currently I’m reading Radical Acceptance Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha. I’ve read books like this before,many of them in fact, but right now my heart is open and I’m resonating with Brach’s writing in a way I haven’t in the books I’ve read before. Perhaps I’ve been preparing myself for this book all along.

I’ve been exhausted and sick lately. For too long really. Work has been exceptionally stressful. The treatment center I work at just opened a detox wing and I was asked to join the team there.  Working with recovering addicts is difficult, working with detoxing addicts is even more so. Additionally, the department is so new and everything is at a trial and error stage…it’s been exhausting and frustrating.  I miss the group the people I worked with before; I miss the connection to the residential floor and the clients there. It’s been hard.

Last night I talked with my daughter as she drove to a friends house (she was on speaker phone). It’s a long drive as she lives in the middle of a prairie in Colorado, making it far from everywhere. She told me me work stories and recipes, talked to me about her dog, and how school was and how stressful it all seemed right now. She has it under control though. She’s got friends and a mantra that says “it’s only going to be like this for 3 1/2 more months.” I told her about my painting and how much I loved the socks she gave me for Christmas. ( I LOVE those socks!! Smart Wools, super warm, super cute, super comfortable)

So much joy to be found in that in talk. So much to be grateful for.

Today my husband and I are going to the coast for the weekend. It’s the first time (except for our week in New England) since March we’ve had a weekend off together. My work schedule doesn’t seem like it will ever change ( I work Friday-Tuesday, so that means I work every weekend ), so instead of waiting for it to change and feeling resentful about it not changing, I’ve decided to be proactive. I took PTO, I made it happen.

Sometimes I get caught up in what’s not going well in my well that I forget to remember that I have the power of choice and can make changes.