I always choose the quietest path. I follow behind Luka, single file, it is just our way. Besides, she always knows where the trail is, always, without a map, without ever having been there, she knows. I cannot be lost when I am with her, which is good, because I am not always paying attention.
I walk on these trails to lose my self in other ways. I sort through my thoughts, littering the path behind me, knowing that the wind and wilds will carry them off. I walk to forget..and to remember..to find community. Sometimes I will have talks with God and feel His presence in everything around me; other times I will ask if God is even possible. I don’t dare ask for a sign, I have never believed it was in anyone’s interest to ask God for a sign.
Sometimes, I think Luka must be God; she is the smartest, kindest, most loyal, and honest being I know.
When we walk, I am reminded how small I am and how much a part of all this I am. Sometimes in corners of my home, it is easy to feel alone and apart from the world. Inside my walls, I am a collection of the things I own and surround myself with. In the woods behind my walls, I am vulnerable and open, wholly who I am in that moment. I have nothing, I am nothing..but my presence.