the expanse of love
I am not my anxiety
I am more than my physical body.
I am more than my thoughts and memories and ideas of the world.
I am more than my breathe and the shudder in my chest and the tightness in my shoulder. I am none of these.
My body is a shell, a temporary home for what is my unique permanence.
Sometimes I feel as if I am killing myself with my perceptions and my worries
Sometimes I feel hollow.
It comes when I pay attention only to my shell as if it were the whole of me. It is none of me.It is not even skin. It is dressing, an outfit, nothing more.
I tell myself… be brave. be mindful. be patient.
I must remember that all that consumes my thoughts and brings me panic is nothing but smoke and mirror.
Fear begets fear.
Love is greater than fear. Love keeps me safe.
One day I will leave my shell behind and know the expanse of Love.
Not a death but an opening. an awakening.
I must choose love, each day.
put aside resentment.forgive. move on. let go. laugh.
and choose love. choose love. choose love.