beginnings..endings…and all that in the middle

This last month has been one of many beginnings and endings.  I am used to change, just as I am accustomed to the rain in Portland.  When I was a child, my family moved often.  I learned early on to keep my connections to places and things, and sadly, people, to an intensity level tolerable for the inevitable reality that none of them would be permanent.  Years later I understood what I had taught myself to do and I changed.  I decided to live with the  pain of loss, however great, and began to attach myself more deeply to places and people.  Some might say I have swung too far, that I engage too deeply; I can only say that it is where I am most comfortable now.  

So as this month brings much change, confusion, and loss of some hopes, like spring, it also ushers in fresh hope, new ways of being and connecting.  A friend of my once said that he could only effect the “quality of the waiting” in his life.  Waiting being that time in the middle I suppose, when we are unsure of the outcome of any of our actions.  Outside of ourselves, there is nothing we can control.  But we can love, genuinely and openly, as a response to the world and as a response to all that we cannot change.

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