Healing myself

When I’m not painting, which is more often than not, I am a massage therapist. I have been an LMT on and off for 15 years. It’s work I really love and suits me well, but it takes its toll on my body. This week,and yesterday particularly, my body has suffered greatly.

I don’t know how anyone can live with chronic pain. My pain, while great, is intermittent. And for that I am immensely grateful. I work with people in chronic pain regularly. I always imagined that if I were unfortunate enough to suffer day in and day out with such pain, I would meditate a lot and devote myself to managing my pain. But the truth is, pain steals ones energy and life away from them. It’s a constant presence, making itself ever known. It never ends. And you know it.

Today, I’m trying my best to care for myself. I’m reminding myself that I can heal, that I have hurt in the past and gotten better, and I will get better this time too. I also looked at the last few weeks I’ve had and realized I’ve done too much. While I like to think of myself as young and full of unending energy..I’m really not that young, and I have my limits. Truth be told, my body has cried foul over and over again and I have just ignored it.

Lesson learned. Today I rest, today I heal. Today I am grateful for a supportive husband and for all the times I have been healthy and pain free.

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