Along our walk, a moment.
Posts tagged ‘poetry’
Forgiveness is an action verb
not an abstract noun
I believe we cannot forgive ourselves if we fail to seek forgiveness first from those we’ve harmed…
it is wreckless and unkind to close our eyes to the pain we’ve caused
forgiveness is a path we walk with open eyes,
it is not a blindfold used to protect our own egos
if we choose to judge another’s ability to forgive
we turn our backs to the mirror
only to become more self-centered and less self aware
it is a choice…
choose the abstract, and lighten the conscience;
or choose the action, and enlighten the soul.
from my former blog, lost in internet space…July 26, 2008
we’re sitting in a Peet’s on Hawthorne, you writing a card to your grandmother
me, thinking about about our talk this morning
the unconventional and yet old school nature of our relationship
moving in together quickly, discovering each other in the routine that is life
I feel lucky that we decided this was a road we’d take
each day I am comforted by your physical presence
your scent and skin
and the way you talk and laugh, and smile with one side of your mouth
they are gravy
thick and salty gravy
I will always be kind to you
I choose that every day
I will always love you
this is not a choice, it just is
always and tangible
a part of me I cannot control
would not want to even if I could
I believe we will never discover all of each other
I am glad about that
much love for you beautiful one..
I’d choose peace over truth
sometimes I’d rather not know
not a chain, or a road, or even a simple
path of flattened blades of grades
rather it is like breath
but often unnoticed
until it changes
then one might say,
“when did this happen?”
there are sometimes signs,
but often not
simply one day is more different
than the last
and we are
“Gamble everything for love.
If you are a true human being.
If not, leave this gathering.
Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.
You set out to find God, but then you keep
stopping for long periods at mean-spirited roadhouses.
Don’t wait any longer. Dive in the ocean, leave and let the
sea be you. Silent, absent, walking an empty road, all praise.”
Perhaps I am too nice or wish only to see the good in life. I have been accused of such, as if it were such a bad thing. I know this isn’t true though. I choose often to view the world’s cup as half full because I’ve seen and lived in the empty vessel. I know it…well. It makes the fuller, the good, the effort so much sweeter.
I am irritated and I want to get over it but I am not. I worked to today with girls who showed amazing resilience and courage. Girls who advocate for themselves because so few in their lives have. Girls who try and fail and try again and again. They are amazing and sometimes…today..the world fails to give them credit. And it pisses me off.
So today, in the quiet of my home, on the laptop of my computer I give them credit. I am amazed that you K have a kind word for anyone ever. If I wore your shoes for just one day I would be still in my addiction. And S…I don’t know how you held it together. Confined to the chair behind your desk for hours with no clue as to the end of the tedium. But you sat there, you cried, and slept, and stared into space and held it close biding your time. And you J spoke your truth…hoping that once someone would listen. I was listening…we were listening.
Life is often hard. For some it unfairly so. I wish the world would remember this.
I have not always made good choices. It is still often the case. I can be both impulsive and passive..either making decisions spontaneously or worse, not making any decision at all. It is what I like least about myself.
If I am anything in life it is an observer. I cannot say that I observe accurately or completely, but I will say I reserve judgment. What I see is merely what I see, nothing more. Information has no value…it is simply information.
I am not black and white
left or right
or even middle
I am none of these and all of these
often without preference
and sometimes full of contradictions
or even always
more than anything else
how other people do this thing